Confession# 504
If there was a full line of Confessions lingerie, I'd buy all of it. Sexiness.
If there was a full line of Confessions lingerie, I'd buy all of it. Sexiness.
Last year I was at a house party and had to go to the bathroom. As I walked in, I slipped on the floor and planted my hand through the drywall to keep from falling. Now normally I would have just walked away, but I was hammered and so I decided to continue to tear the drywall apart. I left that bathroom looking like a grenade went off in there. Sorry bros, if it makes it any better I enjoyed the rager and zubaz my hookup stole for me that night.
Last year I was at a house party and had to go to the bathroom. As I walked in, I slipped on the floor and planted my hand through the drywall to keep from falling. Now normally I would have just walked away, but I was hammered and so I decided to continue to tear the drywall apart. I left that bathroom looking like a grenade went off in there. Sorry bros, if it makes it any better I enjoyed the rager and zubaz my hookup stole for me that night.
To the gopher fan whose car I drunkenly smashed with a baseball bat at a tailgate this year, sorry not sorry.
To the gopher fan whose car I drunkenly smashed with a baseball bat at a tailgate this year, sorry not sorry.
I had sex with a girl on the swim team. She put on Justin Bieber's acoustic album. Suddenly I had a "thing" at 3am.
I had sex with a girl on the swim team. She put on Justin Bieber's acoustic album. Suddenly I had a "thing" at 3am.
I've had sex with the father of the kids I nanny for, while they were downstairs watching TV. It's happened 2 dozen times. Let's just home the mom doesn't find out or I lose my country club privileges.
I've had sex with the father of the kids I nanny for, while they were downstairs watching TV. It's happened 2 dozen times. Let's just home the mom doesn't find out or I lose my country club privileges.
I'm the reason a man is in jail for 5 years and will be on the registered sex offender list for the rest of his life. Going to the police may have been one of the scariest things I've ever done, but it is also one of the best.
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